franksaw

I know nothing....

What happens when you pay attention?

Jonah overboard.
franksaw
pan_z_wami
Jonah overboard!
Tumbling in the rough sea
Resigned, sinking
Waiting for the whale

Favorite things 3
franksaw
pan_z_wami
Cattails. How I love to hold and feel and look at cattails. They thrive in marshes and wet soil. Where the pretty flowers might rot they grow tall in large numbers with plump heads that are firm but then very soft as they loosen. They have a stiff stem to support a heavy top. And there seems to be nothing harmful about them. No thorns. No poison, Just strength. Being hit by one is like being hit with a padded mallet. You get a firm but soft hit.

Favorite things 2
LaoTse
pan_z_wami
Marbles.
THere's a definite Joy about marbles. I can't quite describe why, though. It's a tangible good feeling to see a jar of marbles, or beaded jewelry, or those glass christmas ornaments that are just shiny globes.

So, to explore this a bit... Marbles roll on hard surfaces. always according to gravity and momentum. A bunch of them can be hard to control, or even dangerous on a floor. Yet they are predictable. They don't change direction without appearant reason. A rolling marble can tell you alot about the surface it sits on. A physical indicator of an underlying condition.

The colors also matter. I like white with bright colors. Also metallic ones.

I like to hold them, too. A handful or marbles, like rosary beads, can be a physical reminder to calm down, pray in a structured yet contemplative manner.

No matter which way you travel on the surface of a sphere it's a never-ending smooth ride.

Favorite things 1
LaoTse
pan_z_wami
Abandoned railroad tracks or ones that rarely get used.
- There's some about a road no longer traveled. It's an opportunity to reflect on something tried and true but now ignored. Walking along the tracks can be so peaceful, especially to see everything that has gone into disrepair along with the tracks. For me, there is a sense of life lived with purpose and direction. Rails to trails? Yeah, they are a way to reclaim a right of way, but there is something crude about it. Like tourists trampling a graveyard.

Prepare to die well. to tear though the vail.
franksaw
pan_z_wami
I was listening to Br. Adam speak at the Oblate meeting tonight. The subject was the Liturgy of the Hours. The monks gather 5 times a day for prayer, and they don't always want to. As I was listening as reflecting on this, it seemed this was the perfect workshop for the mind, body and soul. But my chances of making there are slim to none. I'm swimming upstream and my arms are very tired. Now my best hope is to be able to spend time there when I can and share in the community with the Oblate program.

But then, I thought, how are we living life if not to prepare for the ultimate test and transition of death? How am I living lately? Poorly, really. Half-heartedly, sometimes up, sometimes down. But I am really a physically oriented person, although the mind and spirit are what I've given more time to cultivating. The reasons for it go back 30 years, but still, I hate excercising. Yet without physical excercise no forward progress can be made in the mind or the spirit. How do we storm the gates of heaven, how do we equip ourselves to do spiritual battle with a weak body? I've gotten by for years, with a "forward by stealth" mentality. But the challenges coming up require more of a grappling and forceful approach. There is no boot camp for me, no apprenticeship, no novitiate. The sense is that the body must be trained so that the mind and soul also become stronger. Right now, there is little strength. Right now, there is little fortitude. Right now, although too late for some things, it is time for the next adventure to begin. There is only the faintest, shiftiest hint what that might entail.

These days.
LaoTse
pan_z_wami
The promise of material gain always excites children, but I cherish digestive comfort and a clear head much more these days. Standing, watching the snow fall past the lights on abandoned streets is more to my liking. Meditation on the shape of a life span, and how one in particular sets all this in motion is so much more rewarding.
Tags:

My thing
LaoTse
pan_z_wami
I was just praying as I was about to go bed. Considering my life as a string which is supposed to woven into the cloth of life, the seamless garment worn by Christ Jesus, I had the notion that I actually became unwoven and actually loose from the garment. Maybe stilll attached at points but now with the living end now loose, frayed. And I prayed the Jesus Prayer. "Lord Jesus, only Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner." A number of images came to me.
THere was the image of cut strings, chopped off as they hung away from the garment. Or cut hair, Grown as long as the life of a person and cut and woven into the cloth. Again the loose ends cut short.
Perhaps, we are like the knitters or weavers and also the threads themselves. We knit ourselves into the cloth of life. Sin takes us off the cloth as we knit. Only the Master knitter, God can correct those loose threads, the sinners. But we are only worthy of being corrected when we are washed clean as in baptism or confession. Then we can be put back into the cloth, and try again to stay in the pattern.
I sometimes feel that attempts to find the past still alive in me, remembering the heart of the times when I might have been closer to the cloth, are a way of trying to bring the whole string closer to the cloth, rather than just the current working end. And perhaps in the dimension of probabilities and alternatives, that could happen. Maybe it's why I'm blind in the world of the spirit but others seems to think of me as something more than I think I am.
Anyways, the notion came to me that the reason I am so attracted to the art of cutting hair, or trees, is because it's a message I need to hear. Why is that the message? Maybe I should 'cut loose' bonds which pull me away from where in the garment I am supposed to be. Does it mean away from the family? Does it mean a compulsion away from God? Am I just resisting and wishing to be cut free from everything? Escapism.
Some people are able to weave others as well as their own. Some have a way of breaking apart. What am I trying to get away from? What am I trying to work towards? One should stop and have a goal, so that one might cut bonds more effectively to move toward the way of the ultimate goal of heaven.

Artistic images. A huge rope with innumerable strands but constantly being picked at by evil ones who hope to break the rope which is the connection between heaven and earth. I got picked pretty hard. And now I have a hard time getting back in. I am kinked and moving in unpredictable directions.

http://orbiscatholicussecundus.blogspot.com/2010/11/child-martyr.html
franksaw
pan_z_wami
Orbis Catholicus Secundus: The Child Martyr: Adam

Freedom
LaoTse
pan_z_wami
Freedom is the disciplining of desire so as to make the acheivement of the good first possible, then effortless. - Fr. Robert Barron, Word On Fire.

No discipline, no freedom.

You know what I miss?
franksaw
pan_z_wami
You know, what I miss, and I say this sincerely without malice but from depths of my heart, is my parents 35 years ago. They would have been in their mid 20's, full of all the energy of that time, in good shape physically.
I miss them then, because living here in Bloomington, there are so many times I wish I could have them over to go walking around dowtown, on campus , or to take a short hike in the State parks around here, and to just share all this beauty. There is so much I can't really share, because to share these these things requires physical engagment with the enviroment in a way that does not include passively viewing it from a car or watching it on TV. But now doing that often means there is physical pain, frequent stops, and worries about catastrophic health events happening. I didn't have to be this way, it's not in the genes, it's not the natural way. Instead, it's a faulty worldview and a social enviroment that leads, via bad choices, to all the most common physical and medical problems in this country today. Bad knees and hips, heart disease, inablilty to think clearly, and addictions to all sorts of things.
What are the excuses? They say "Why should I deny myself something?" "But it's so good." "Oh, come on. Loosen up a bit will you?", "But I like it.", "Life is short...." (that's a lie).

In other words, it's all the crap that the advertisers put in their heads. This never includes going for a walk, making your own fun, fixing your own broken stuff, and living modestly. What is does mean, is getting fat, slow, and ignoring all the evidence that the prevailing way of life is robbing them of the ability to really live life and share in that with others. It also robs the young ones of any help in hard times, because how much ot costs to deal with the consequences of all those bad choices.
The Truth : No one deserves anything but love, and we all get it, sometimes violently, sometimes tragically, sometimes painfully, sometimes offensively, in a million ways, we get it.

Yet every moment is an opportunity to turn it all around. Is there too much pride to allow that?

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